what a deep time for me.
there is so much to be with once i quiet down,
kick & scream,
stir the pot,
steam myself silly
& allow a warm bath to take me in.
rub my ankles & tell them "it's ok, i'll carry that."
i dig and i stretch, i tear open one more time and i have to admit: i am trusting for the gold again, the growth that only gold can bring.
the only way for me to keep going is the hope that as i fall deeper into her, she will hold the space for me to weep and in turn, i will water her body.
no matter how heavy i become, she is willing to hold me. in the stillness, in the messiness, in the ugliness as we both know how beautiful it really is.
i will nourish her as she has always nurtured me.
this is the only way i can understand this dance, to hear this movement, to follow this dream and eventually, to become her, in this terrain: warm, cozy, deep, mother.
we both know how beauty is saving our life right now
and she wants to hear my voice.
she wants to listen to my words.
she believes in me.
and i am here for so much.
*this picture is of an artichoke heart, open and broken: lush, green, full of life, nutrients. so many wings protect the heart and once you trespass and pluck each wing, you come to thistley like cilia that is the door to the actual heart. there is such a fragility to this STRONG, amazing vegetable. there is so much work to get to the heart. and hope, there is a lot of hope too. steam this beauty and enjoy. see you in the kitchenxxxx