Monday, November 25, 2013


it’s a thank you on thanksgiving
it’s a time to mash, to roast, to hug warmth
feasts laden with cobalt, sterling & boats of gravy
shine, shine, shine that silver

i am so grateful
and it’s one of those things that never fills me up,
I crave more
I want to thank the world
the threads in my clothing
the pores in my skin
the static in the dryer because I am so lucky to have a dryer, things like that

I want to hear what you are grateful for
and then I can say thank you for all of that too
I can fit everything into this huge belly
devouring this amazing life

it’s so important to drop down
to feel it all
to let that shutting down thing go
why be here?

why live life if you can’t feel anything or you only get to feel what you want? as though you are able to get down and deep into the molasses and pick and choose what feels good i wish or maybe I don’t but I was not given that choice this time around

I want unconditional
I want to feel it
I want to tear all of our clothes off and box this shit out
I want to peel it, shred it and then smear icing all over it

balance could work too

and then I want to drop down even deeper
like the big dipper, shine those lights, be who you are
most people will not understand and that’s ok
some people will hate you and that’s ok
i am so lucky that I have a body that loves me
i am so lucky
i am sad too
i am hurting with my heart so grateful, it’s potent with
rawness and fluffy like a yam soufflé
i am a feast
i am thanksgiving
all I want to do is thank you
and then I want to understand everything

wooden spoons, ivory iron clad casserole dishes,
amber glasses with iced tea
orange pekoe or English breakfast
she loved oolong and jasmine
but hot, at a chinese restaurant on a sunday

I want to know where I stand
where to hold your hand
so that I don’t hurt you
why are we friends
if all I do is hurt you
if you can’t tell me
then you don’t know me

I am growing everyday
I am thanksgiving
I am a survivor
how can you teach the class
if you have not survived
the way I have?

how can you be thanksgiving if I am thanksgiving?
what is this cul-d-sac sack in the middle of the highway?
I need to get around this
I need to drive past something that makes sense
I am lost and the maps burnt off the side of the boat
when I was praying for things like freedom and intuition and poetry sundried with copper river salmon

and it’s foggy in here
and I need some sunglasses
oh maybe this cat mask will do
it will lighten every one up and
I am grateful for being good at that too

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

banana curry cookies.

introducing the
ginger snap
with a poem

i am mashed up bananas
going whish, whish, whish
whipped by the paddle
stainless steel tub
i yearn for more.....
melting me
bumps in the road
every knot
nerve ending
i want to pack it up
light brown sugar
pat, pat, pat
pack me in
hold me down
tie my wrists
oh, not too tight
hand me a buoy
so i don't float
into the night sky
dollops of vanilla
1 beaten egg
foam and all
1/2 cup of chocolate chips
chugga chugga choo choo
i am on a train and the conductor
has no idea where to seat me
i am sticky, soggy, thick and tan
i have browned
all the spinning
'round and 'round
i am a hero
i need to sit down
slip into this crinkley
parchmont paper
oops i spilled me over
i need to lay down
totally surrender
to this round shape
i will eventually riiiissssseeee
i will grooooowwwwwwwww tall
and create a shape
i need all the heat i can get
i need to sweat this out
palm springs in july
i need hot hot hot
rise above
brown at the top
crisp on the sides
to know myself
in the heat
allow myself to let go
they will take me out
cool off on steel squares
i will try to avoid the nose
sniffing my survival
i have come so far
i am the little seed
no one is going to step on me
i cool down some more
i harden from the inside out
i am lucky
young eyes looking up at me
'mom, are they ready yet?'
the red head is talking about me
she wants me in her little watery mouth
baby teeth, small sweet tongue
i feel a lift
a body peel
that first bite
i hear in the one ear i have left
i am a hero
i say to myself
i did my job here.

banana curry cookies
inspired by food52
6 tbs unsalted butter, softened
1/4 cup light brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup mashed ripe banana
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp vanilla
1 cup all purpose flour OR cup 4 cup
1 tsp curry powder
pinch of salt
3 tbs unsweetened shredded coconut
fleur de sal for sprinkling

*heat it up*
preheat oven to 300
cream butter & sugars
mash banana & add baking soda (set aside)
in a bowl, mix flour, curry & salt
mix banana in with vanilla too
add the dry to wet
fold in coconut
drop on cookie sheet/parchment paper
by the teaspoonful (little bites)
for 14 - 16 minutes and then sprinkle
fleur de sal while still warm

please share in the comments below
they are definitely my new fall fave!
enjoy beauties

holiday miracle
december 6

Sunday, November 10, 2013


the slow cooker is OUT
and this was it's first debut of
the season.... maybe 15 minute prep
6 hours in slow cooker while you do 
everything else you have been
needing/wanting to do!
(no brainer)

i needed some refreshers
so i looked at this recipe
and this one
then i made this up

1 lb. beef cubes of the best meat ever
a few carrots (2-3)
1-2 sunchokes (jerusalem artichokes)
a few frozen stahlbush farms peas
1 yellow onion
2 stalks celery
hand full of parsley/chopped if want
cherry tomatoes (cut in half)
thinly slices of fennel
bit of sage, 2 bay leaves, thyme
1/2 - 1 cup of red wine
1 - 2 cups of water
(these ingredients were based
on whatever i had in the kitchen)

so here is the deal..
i just had to get all the ingredients
in the slow cooker & then i put it on high for 3 hours
hoping it would go to low setting while we were out
for 5-6 hours but instead it went to warm 
SO i put it on again (on low) the next day around 1 
for 4 - 6 hours... it was in the slow cooker
for about 30 hours by the time we tried it!

the meat was tender and the veggies were cooked
for you, i would say...  3 - 4 hours on high
and then 3 - 4 hours on low.. 
if you want it ready sooner than put the number
of hours you need on high

i feel that creating a stew (or anything
in the slow cooker) is a conversation
it's healing, nourishing and craves to 
be shared... please share your favorite
tips, ideas & beauty love fests!
big love beauties

the fall miracle inspired
nourishing yourself
during one of the most
important times of the year!
when it's absolutely 
i will share a lot of
holiday tips for delicious
& doable holiday recipes
we will feast on a full 
beauty love fest to inspire
you during this time along
with hold the space for
our stories xxxx

december 6
10 - 2pm
(3 spots left)

Monday, November 4, 2013

sweet belly.

beauties! a poetic recipe to nourish youxxxx

you are pink inside
and of course i love pink
you are so round
rotating, holding
my breath
my blood
my babies

you stretch to make room for love
and we, together birth a lot of things
my physical muse in scrubs with a telescope
looking for my constellation of emotion
hiding inside a bloated poem or a super flat song

I am indebted to you
I have never used the word indebted
I will write through the doubt
to trust avenue
to tell you
you are a house
a warm, cozy, ever-growing house
a flexible, loving house

you believe in me
you trust me more than I have ever trusted myself
you were definitely the first one here
I am so grateful

you surpised me in 2006 & 2011
you got so big!
you really know how to grow
to take care of me
and all who came during me

I send you thank you notes;
dark chocolate, a good steam, breathing you in and out
I want you to feel strong

the baby door that ‘they’
created out of you is lopsided
is it bothering you?
can you feel it from where you are?

I love your honesty
I love that we are working together again
I am committed to your muscles

are you feeling better since I started working out?
oh good.

I am so happy to nourish you
cooking for you
rubbing you at night

we have been through so much together
thank you
feels weak
you who grew a placenta
you who housed my babes
your wisdom
an IV to my everything 
but it’s all I got
thank you
sweet round belly
thank you.