crowns & words.

i birthed beauty and the poetry inside that journey is still connecting the dots inside my hips, playing hide and seek in my joints and needs more water, more water, more water.....my body is still processing this next chapter. i might be here longer than i want to be.... i might be here after i have written and read the story many times. who knows. the heaviness that feels like me today, the pastry bags of my breasts, feeding beauty to keep her growing as i try to feed myself that other beauty.

the beauty inside rainbow chard, baby eggplants on a cake plate, the lemon basil in a ball jar on vintage cookbooks... breathing in all my bowls, the roundness feels like a safe place to land, to nap, to cry lots of tears... listening for an echo of myself, seeking my shadow, hoping to have a quick chat about the good old days... finding a swatch of myself somewhere inside this new landscape....

keeping the altar behind the sink real simple... bringing the shade down to keep it cool in there. that might be more important than all the other things.... inhaling gratitude, how blessed i am, and how heavy it still feels... exhaling trust, knowing it will pass, understanding that this is the life of a renaissance mama... wanting to do so much, yearning to water that poetry in my thigh to see what will come of it.... how will it grow once nurtured?

i want all that time back...

with my big ass wing, i pick up all my needs... one by one, combing their thin blonde hair... i look for those sweet chamomile buds & make a crown for each need, letting them know, i will be back soon.

stone fruit.

loving these in EVERYTHING right now... i actually can't stop eating them! they are in my salad with golden beets & avocado, they are baked (for 15 - 20 minutes on 400 bake) then add a leaf of basil & cream, they are roasted with my chicken inside lavender, rosemary & thyme or just cut up on the board! yum!

there are two farms that have the best. one - is the arctic star from regier's farm in dinuba, ca... you can find them under the orange kiosks at the santa monica farmers market on wednesday mornings & sunday in hollywood. they are so incredible! the other excellent ones are in hollywood on sunday & pasadena on thursdays afternoons... ken lee's farm in fresno. he also has amazing plums, pluots & new fruits coming out all the time. remember to try everything you buy & make sure not to buy the fruit too soft or when you get home, it will be ready for jam. they ripen fast in the summer.

AND buy fruit (& all your food) from good people... you will know them when you see them, you will feel them... if they are kind to you, they are kind to the soil, the earth & all that this piece of gathering the best quality means... i love to ask how they treat their land & if they are close to freeways... how they answer will also tell you everything you need to know. if they are open or resistant to being asked... it's all so important to know where your food comes from. enjoy & see you in the kitchenxxxx

circle.

*

you wanna know what is so incredible about this 'nourishing you' piece i keep feeding you?? i have to do it to myself first!!! YIKES! hardest part of the job.

with that said, i have a new & improved commitment to my physical health, full on. i want to feel light. let's start with lighter than a barge. my vessel created some people and i feel like a ship hit me in the night... ok maybe 2 ships.....alright... 3!! i am tired of not feeling good in my vessel!! (so that is the back story).

as a part of my regimen, i walk. last saturday, j had both kids and i had about a 1/2 hour before i assumed they would be home. what to do with one more 1/2 hour of freedom? (this is always the question) hmmm... there is not much i can do in that time frame to sate every single expectation to feel totally COMPLETE. i know, such a bad set up from the get go...and how many poems are waiting in that theme and in my hips? (another blog entry entirely)... i try to choose something that will make me feel GOOD... i decided to put on my sneakies and go take a walk. i was feeling so proud that i made the LEAP over the door frame to the outside world called my street. then to turn the corner.. woohoo now we are in business... left, right, left...the next thought was focus on the breath, inhale, exhale, work it. my sweet voices were cheering me on...'this was such a good idea!' 'yay me!' 'awesome to get out and move it, move it.'

then.....

i come to a place in the walk where i usually make a full circle. i look at my watch and see it's been a half hour... i'm thinking i should head home, j is probably there with the kids and if b is hungry, they all might be cursing my name! then i hear that sweet, supportive voice say 'whoa.... what are you thinking?' 'you have to do the full circle...i mean, it could really impede on your day... you have to do the full circle! right!?!? to feel complete and....' i hear the inside voice making demands with some doubt in her tone....like a little lemon rind hanging around, flimsy & really potent at the same time.

i take a big inhale, exhale & turn around to go back home....

i let a little time go by before asking 'who are you and where do you come from?' i mean....'why does it have to be this way? who says that's really true anyway, that complete thing? it's amazing that i even went on the darn walk!!'

then, the wiser voice (yep - there is more than one ;) chimed in, thank the universe! AND i realized this is how we feel in the kitchen... and in so many areas of our lives. do it to the fullest, only the best, make everything or don't do it at all... ALL or nothing...cook for 2 days on thanksgiving and that's it for the rest of the year .... right? NO!!! so not right. then we will never try anything new or do all the things we want to do until we have the time... and PS when is that?? in my life right now, there is nothing i can do completely. everything has steps, moments, a process. everybody has NEEDS. it's as though i need to ask them (my needs) to get in a single file line and to raise their hand to speak... it's deep.

we have so many expectations of 'it' before we even know what 'it' is!! for so many of us, it feels better to just do nothing than a little bit of something... the intimacy of not knowing how to do something or how & where to begin is so strong that we just don't ever go there. questioning your voices of right and wrong, circle or square, meat and potatoes goes on happening as we turn on the oven, look in the fridge, decide what will go on the plate and how we will serve it.

so after all this....

as i was walking home, i was excited to write these thoughts down to share with you and send out asap. from the corner, i could hear b crying... so i ran home to give her the breasty latte. now, a month later, i am sharing this story with you.....feels good to complete the circle. see you in the kitchenxxxx

****this cake plate is created by lisa neimeth/potter in san francisco/ love love love her stuff****

summer vibes.

missing you and the magic of sharing words...

earl grey tea on my tongue to start the dance, warm in the palm & somewhere is the ground.... sewing my way through the soil, planting seedlings with a needle & some cashmere nearby... hoping to suture myself inside calm & uneventful.. like gazpacho, cucumbers & avocado.

simple, sating, warm.

this is innate in the summer vibe, if you are lucky to catch on. you can feel it in the food... chilled soups, mellow melons, nectarines, peaches, berries with arugula and....

all i feel & do is rush, rush, rush... it almost feels like an illness.... rushing here, rushing there, rushing everywhere! i mean....really? is this life? i can't seem to take enough inhales to have one exhale.. i am even rushing to find a beach house so i can stop all this rushing!

the roots of this dis-ease may be growing from the beds of overwhelm, sleepless nights & the longest list of wants, desires & needs on this side of the mississipi. i don't know, just throwing some ideas out there. are you feeling this way too? is this the mama train everybody is on? the ONLY way it (meaning life) seems to pause, take a second, inhale and exhale at the SAME time.... is in the kitchen.

i know, shocking.

hold the phone.

this season gives us the gift of an ABUNDANCE of foods to cut up and NOT cook... maybe a little luring to get you in there? blending soups, tarts, salads, soft tacos, lemon cucumbers, pink lemons, sweet corn, orange cauliflower... oh it's good. it's the part of the day, other than right now with you, that i am breathing... oh, wait! i gotta get to yoga, i'm late! see you in the kitchenxxx

miracle.

gathering in this way, sharing this intimacy with food, learning where it comes from, how to buy it, what to do with it & more...being introduced to food in a new way, meeting beauty inside abundance, your innate ability to nourish YOU and your family in this way is looooong overdue.... share in this miracle that i feel so blessed to create in my kitchen... i love to feed & nurture you.. let us have this conversation over and over again... it's boiling inside each of us... how do we make it happen everyday?! feeding our families & all their needs, like lyrics, hanging in the air of our kitchens.... lets bring those words to the ground & begin a kitchen culture.. we are the shaman mamas... we are the ones who will make this happen, teaching our families how to eat, live & dream inside kale, chard & figs...

'MIRACLE' SUMMER SESSION:

FRIDAY, JULY 15

FRIDAY, JULY 22

FRIDAY, AUGUST 5

FRIDAY, AUGUST 12

10:30 - 1:30 pm

JULES KITCHEN

MT WASHINGTON

$75 per class or all 4 classes for $275 (save some green love) *****pay ahead to reserve your wooden bowl & get the energy going***** classes are intimate & fill up fast.....i'm happy to report ;)

THOUGHTS:

share the RM miracle love.....

bring a friend!

this is a beautiful, original gift to give yourself & friends..

you give, i give! 50$ class for you!

OR

invite the miracle into your kitchen:

gather some friends together for an event or

just to start the conversation! it's free for you!

money....

don't let the lack of funds stop you,

donate what you can

and come be with us

it always works out perfectly

cancellations....

if you can't make it, please let me know by tuesday night to reschedule if you have to cancel after i have gathered on wednesday, i will just use half of the fee so the next class will be 37$ unless you want to give more... always open to abundance (yours and mine!)

IT'S AN HONOR TO NOURISH, INSPIRE & EMPOWER YOU... SEE YOU IN THE KITCHEN...

Xxxx